You Said What!!!
Having been born and raised in America south of the border was a vacation destination, not a place to set roots and raise a family. So naturally when my husband came home with the news that a wonderful employment opportunity would plunge my zip code across the Rio Grande, I wasn’t exactly jumping for joy. My first reaction was complete disbelief. Aren’t people dying to come to America? Why then was I supposed to be joyous to leave my perfectly happy home, to move to a country that’s own residents were fleeing. The irony!
Naturally I went through all the stages of grief. Grief may seem extreme, but for a week I was in complete denial. I told myself the job would fall through. There had to be a million more qualified candidates than my husband. What an awful thing to think? Yes, it is true, but desperation makes one hope for things you would never think of when you are in your right mind.
One week later any dreams of my husband’s failure were squashed, as he boarded a plane to what was soon enough to be my home. We had agreed he would go first. Aftercall, what if he got there and hated it? What if they hated him? One year is what we agreed on. He would settle in and get everything ready for us. That would give me one year to close shop in America and join him. It would also give me one year to hope and pray the good Lord would bring him home without me ever having to leave American soil (except for vacation of course).
Well the plan seemed great until good old Anger stepped in. Oh, oh, oh how nasty a little anger can be. To the world I had remained the same person. Responsible and reliable I went to work, carted my children to and from appointments and activities, but inwardly I was an explosive, just waiting for anything to make me ignite, and boy did it blow. I received a call late one night from my over joyous husband. He loved the job. He loved the people. He just raved about how happy he was, and excited. Happy, joy, wonderful, I am so sorry, but I was just not having it, as soon as we ended the call, the items on top of my bedroom dresser experienced my rage. With a bang everything went flying across the room.
I wish I could say it made me feel better, but not much. Okay maybe for a second, but not enough to make me do it again. Instead anger slowly faded and I began trying to bargain with my husband. Then with God. There had to be a way out of my situation. A happy ending for me…. (but oh my there is so much more to come)
