Who Is Your Captain?

So now I’m the captain of my very own ship. Yup, that meant I woke up at the time I wanted. Except for work days, but that’s a whole different type of commitment I’d rather not discuss. Anyways you know what happens when you’re all alone on a ship. Party time … no …. it actually gets pretty lonely. Not that I was really alone. My nine year old was home of course, but I couldn’t see her too interested in my work day, or find it healthy to speak to her about my disagreements with her dad. Which of course left my friends. Honestly, my friends should each be given an honorary psychology degree, for all the hours of service they provided. Yes, I said hours! Wondering what I talked about? Well, being separated by 2000 miles has a way of shaking the foundation of marriage. Why? Well for starters Monday through Friday my husband found himself piled under mounds of work, as did I back home. Naturally I wanted to talk about our day, like we used to over dinner. The problem was my six o’clock was his eight o’clock, which apparently had become his new bedtime. Oh well, at least we had the weekends. NOT!!! I realize I’ve omitted my husband’s love of horses, cows, and anything related to a farm or ranch. This is no accidental omission. This is because we were discussing the most important person in my world, that would be me. Yeah, right! You did read I’m a wife and mother! Anyways his love of all things Old McDonald, meant weekends were now his time to unwind at the ranch. The ranch that sits in the middle of nowhere. The one with no electricity, phone, or internet service. Yup, that would be the one, which of course meant no catching up. Looking back this was such a blessing, but at the time it gave way to doubts and insecurities I hadn’t seen since I was in high school. That is until one of my friends, a neighbor, had a solution for my situation. She sent me to church. Now I’ve been to church many times, and the place is usually filled with people. I still didn’t know how that would solve my desire to spend more telephone hours with my husband, but she insisted. After a few requests, I’m not easy by no means, I agreed.

Funny how God doesn’t just tell us what He wants. Oh, wait a minute He does. I think the real problem is we don’t listen. Ouch! But that’s a whole other topic. We’ll leave that for another day.

So, I go to church and I wish I could say God healed my pain, gave me the solution, and all was good. Well, He did, but not that day. If it was that easy what lesson would I have learned? How would I have grown? How could my story become a blessing to another? Yet, the visit started me down a path of prayer. Yes, prayer, communication with God. At that point I didn’t yet understand the direction He was taking my life, but it was about to get much more interesting. (I was still alone on the boat, but soon a new Captain would board.)